Sometimes I have this feeling when something in my life is so good and so right, that I really shouldn’t be the one enjoying it. Like maybe there’s a cosmic game of roulette being played today, and good luck just happened to come my way.
I have an amazing family, incredible friends, the opportunity to go to a great university without having to pay truckloads of cash, the chance to pursue my passions without worrying about how I’m going to make ends meet.
On my wiser days, I look at my life and I think, “What in the world have I done to deserve this?”
Then I’m reminded that I haven’t anything at all to earn what I most value in my life. I was born into much of this blessing.
So much of what I have is, at its essence, a gift.
There is much in my life to be thankful for.
The fact that I find myself asking the question, “How do I respond to this gift?” shows just exactly how far I have to go toward becoming the person whom I was created to be.
The response seems as though it would be so natural. Unfortunately, for me, most of the time it isn’t. My hope is that with practice, when I experience good, the outflow of my spirit would be:
· Gratitude. I must be continually reminded to participate in the enjoyment of what I have been given and the recognition that the Giver is not me. Throwing my hands in the air and dancing with abandon is a laughable, odd and incredibly helpful spiritual practice that reminds me that I’m alive and I owe my whole life to someone else…
· Generosity. People who have been given much ought to give much. The overflow of gratitude is generosity. The choice to be generous is one I must make every single day with my money, my time and my life.
One of my favorite words of late has been the Hebrew word owr, which means light. There is a form of the word which exists as a verb – a doing word that means “to become light. In English, the word often used is shine.
I am of the persuasion that people were created to shine – to bring beauty and life and hope to the world through their love of each other and of their Creator.
I cling to the idea that I am being transformed day by day to look more and more like the true light. I am grateful that I am in process, that my heart is being softened and that I am being shaped into a more grateful and generous human being.
On my good days, I have to take the time to remember this.
On my bad days, I have to hold onto this hope for dear life.
Love does crazy things. That’s why I choose to shine.
